Composure at any cost?
In addition to triggering an avalanche of health issues, suppressing negative emotions can also impact our cognitive functioning. One study notes that emotional suppression “impaired incidental memory for information presented during the suppression period.” Essentially, our brain is too busy suppressing emotions to remember details about what happened.
The Journey of Lament
On September 15, 2024, we will gather at the Ives Park gazebo in Potsdam for an interfaith vigil of solidarity to remember the survivors of child abuse in the North Country. Whether you are a survivor of child abuse or a loved one of a survivor, please join us.
9 Questions to Ask about Prophetic Presbytery
CFC encourages people to test the prophetic words against scripture and discuss them with pastors. Asking questions is an important part of this process, and to that end, we suggest that you also ask the following questions.
Confessions from the Inner Circle
You’ve experienced it, but I’m going to say it explicitly. CFC operates with a class system. There’s an inner circle reserved for just a few families. I know this because my family is one of them.
12 Questions You Should Ask Your Pastors
If a pastor argues that reporting child sexual abuse is a matter of personal judgment, the congregation has the biblical duty to ask further questions. It is essential not only to ascertain whether it’s safe to remain at the church but to also ensure that all vulnerable people are protected.
When holidays are hard
Once I left CFC, the holiday season felt strangely empty. I wasn’t sure how to celebrate without performing a very specific kind of seasonal joy. Many of the traditions that I used to enjoy with my family now trigger intense grief and physical distress. Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas remind us that we are estranged from family and friends who are still at CFC.
Betrayal Blindness
People in high-control groups cannot allow themselves to fully engage with reality. Why? Because acknowledging the truth would threaten the church relationships that they depend upon for survival.
The Danger of Inadequate Child Protection Policies
Inadequate child protection policies are often more dangerous than the absence of a policy because nominal policies allow church members to believe that they are safe when they are actually in grave danger.
I trusted you
One of the many parts of abuse of any kind is the betrayal. The trust broken. The belief of safety shattered. Even if what happened was a stranger there was still a trust that you were safe. You no longer trust safety. You no longer trust people. People you know or people you don’t.
Suffer the Children: Developing Effective Church Policies on Child Maltreatment
Although churches, synagogues, temples and other places of worship are increasingly implementing policies to protect children from abuse, the policies adopted are often inadequate and of limited value. This article includes ten concrete suggestions for faith institutions that will aid in developing and implementing policies more likely to keep children safe.
We’re heading to Albany
On May 3, CFCtoo will be joining forces with Rabbi David Ingber from Romemu and other proponents of child welfare to speak with New York State legislators on the importance of the CARE Act.
Pigs in the Parlor
Understanding CFC’s approach to demon possession and how it serves as a tool for spiritual abuse requires a trip back to the 1970s when CFC first started.
Make clergy members mandatory child abuse reporters
Well-meaning pastors are not qualified to rehabilitate offenders. Coupled with naivete about recidivism, this leaves children vulnerable to continued abuse. Instead of offering abusers endless chances to “repent,” pastors should focus on immediately protecting victims.
Pastors are front-line responders to disclosures of abuse; their failure to report concerns or suspicions leaves a gaping hole in critical response efforts. The CARE Act would make members of the clergy required reporters of mistreatment.
Supporting our work
We are a community of survivors for survivors, and we want to be able to better support each other.
Protests, Apologies, and Zaccheus
The role of the surface apology is not repentance or restitution. The purpose of a surface apology is twofold: to make the person you hurt go away and to absolve you of your own guilt.
So how do you issue a sincere apology and work towards restitution if you have wronged someone? And conversely, what type of apology and restitution should you expect if you are wronged?
Victim Blaming in the Church
Victim blaming is the act of holding a person responsible for the harm they have experienced or the crime committed against them. This often looks like attributing blame or responsibility to the victim for their own victimization, rather than the perpetrator or other external factors.
Dear LGBTQ+ Survivors
We want you to know that we are a safe space for LGBTQ+ survivors and we value your stories and your partnership as we learn and grow. We are proud to stand alongside our LGBTQ+ survivors and support them as we all heal from our experiences at CFC.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 4
Because Quiverfull communities like CFC preach patriarchy as the only biblical framework, individuals who challenge the gender hierarchy must be labeled rebellious and sinful.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 3
Homeschooling can be a dangerous tool in the hands of abusers and those who believe they have a God-given right to exert total control over another human being. Children who are homeschooled have very little access to mandated reporters. Sometimes homeschooled children are also “home-churched,” further isolating them, or participate in churches where abuse or neglect is endorsed or will go unreported.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 2
For all the Quiverfull movement’s claims about children being blessings, it is fundamentally not about the children. Instead, Quiverfull ideology uses children as a tool or weapon. Quiverfull families see children as extensions of the family, weapons in the culture war, and a means to an end, rather than as autonomous people.