Supporting our work
We are a community of survivors for survivors, and we want to be able to better support each other.
The Fear Our Children Carry
CFCtoo is not a political organization, but we do not believe that child safety should be a political issue. We firmly believe that child safety is the responsibility of every single adult.
Protests, Apologies, and Zaccheus
The role of the surface apology is not repentance or restitution. The purpose of a surface apology is twofold: to make the person you hurt go away and to absolve you of your own guilt.
So how do you issue a sincere apology and work towards restitution if you have wronged someone? And conversely, what type of apology and restitution should you expect if you are wronged?
Victim Blaming in the Church
Victim blaming is the act of holding a person responsible for the harm they have experienced or the crime committed against them. This often looks like attributing blame or responsibility to the victim for their own victimization, rather than the perpetrator or other external factors.
Why we CARE
Child sexual abuse is heinous and tragically common in church settings. Strong evidence suggests that child predators are attracted to churches. Sexual abusers benefit from Christian teachings on repentance and forgiveness; if they’re caught, they can simply performatively express remorse, rely on unwise church practices that grant access to all in the name of grace, and then secretly continue their abuse.
Dear LGBTQ+ Survivors
We want you to know that we are a safe space for LGBTQ+ survivors and we value your stories and your partnership as we learn and grow. We are proud to stand alongside our LGBTQ+ survivors and support them as we all heal from our experiences at CFC.
Emotions & Abuse: Part 3
The people who say that what you are calling abuse is “hurt feelings” or “bitterness” probably have a vested interest in denying that you were abused. Ask yourself what their connection is to your abuser or the network in which your abuser exists. What do they stand to benefit if they can convince you and others that you were not abused?
Emotions & Abuse: Part 2
God created us with emotions. Our God-given emotions keep us safe, help us live an abundant life, and motivate us to take action based on our values and goals.
Emotions & Abuse
I was and still am a serious Christian, and it was important to me to obey God. But I thought that meant I had to do things that felt really bad to me. If it felt hard, that was probably God telling me to do something.
Leaving Well
Leaving a church is not a decision most Christians take lightly. It is especially difficult where intergenerational friendships have taken shape, discipleship, marriages, births, baptisms, and deaths have stitched a fabric which you were convinced kept you warm. This fabric has been a comfort. A barrier to outside elements threatening your safety and security. You feel safe.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 4
Because Quiverfull communities like CFC preach patriarchy as the only biblical framework, individuals who challenge the gender hierarchy must be labeled rebellious and sinful.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 3
Homeschooling can be a dangerous tool in the hands of abusers and those who believe they have a God-given right to exert total control over another human being. Children who are homeschooled have very little access to mandated reporters. Sometimes homeschooled children are also “home-churched,” further isolating them, or participate in churches where abuse or neglect is endorsed or will go unreported.
You Are the Author of Your Story
When I first left, I didn’t tell many people about my past or background. I wanted to put it all behind me and move on with my life now that I had my freedom. But I had experienced so much disempowerment that I was struggling to move on. I slowly began writing down my story, and I discovered great healing in the process of putting my experience into words.
Why I Was Told to Make Them Worship
Too often, spiritually manipulative leaders want to ramp up worship in order to take the focus off what’s really going on underneath. Abusive leaders can use the worship time to keep their congregation preoccupied, to keep their eyes off the abuse occurring in the church. They use God’s name to lend authority to their own narcissism.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 2
For all the Quiverfull movement’s claims about children being blessings, it is fundamentally not about the children. Instead, Quiverfull ideology uses children as a tool or weapon. Quiverfull families see children as extensions of the family, weapons in the culture war, and a means to an end, rather than as autonomous people.
The Quiverfull Families Next Door: Part 1
In addition to valuing pronatalism, homeschooling, and gender hierarchy, many Quiverfull families also view the world through a dominionist lens, placing great emphasis on “filling the earth and subduing it.”
News Conference: Gary’s Statement
Today the New York State Council of Churches stands in solidarity with our sisters and brothers
who advocate for the passage and enactment of the CARE Act legislation in New York State.
Broken Arrows: Abuse is not love
CFC explicitly teaches that physical violence, emotional neglect, and isolation are necessary tools if loving parents want to make their children become faithful disciples of Jesus.
News Conference: James’ Statement
Clergy are called to be a pastoral presence and to journey with people during their trials and tribulations. We also need to know the limits of our calling and work with other professionals to stop harm. Therefore, I support the CARE Act to make clergy mandated reporters of abuse.
News Conference: Judy’s Statement
Christians are mandated reporters. We are mandated by Christ to care for the “least of these” among us - meaning the most vulnerable. In this case, the children.