I didn’t know at that time that all this craziness we had been living with for 16-plus years was typical domestic abuse. I had been in denial for a long time, but I was at the precipice of educating myself and opening my eyes to what my children and I had endured. The veil was about to be lifted as to the real Rick Sinclair and the Christian Fellowship Center cult.

Virginity. The trophy of womanhood. The uncrumpled rose. The unchewed gum. The thing every good Christian man required and desired. Purity. A wife unspoiled.

I was the poster child for it.

My ex forced me to quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom and then took away my money and my phone. Abusive churches isolate people for the same reasons that abusers isolate their victims—to make vulnerable people dependent and therefore, compliant. Don't let the church be your one and only.

Be aware of those who don’t want things written down, those who don’t want witnesses. Be aware of pastors and their wives who don’t want a written record or who pull you aside for private conversations. When the privacy is not about protecting you but protecting them. They will claim Matthew 18 as they pull you off out of others’ hearing.

This is not a male only/pastor thing. This is a power thing. And don’t forget for one minute that the wives are in on it.